09 October 2014

Conviction, Confirmation, and Teenagers

When I look back upon my life and think about the different seasons in my life. I come to the conclusion that the teenage years were the hardest. I was part of a blended family where I was trying to find where I fit in, not just in the family but in school as well. I felt pressure to look a certain way, act a certain way, and I would find that I would be criticized for who I was. At that time in my life I had no idea who I was or where I will end up. A lot of changes were occurring in my life during the crucial time in my life. Oh why do the teenage years have to be so hard?

Now I am a mother of a teenager. I praise God that my daughter is not growing up the same way I did or facing some of the issues I faced. However, my daughter still faces issues as a teenager. I as a mother sometimes have to put my “mother” feelings aside. In reality, it is my ruffled mama feathers that I have to set aside. I need to teach my daughter the proper way to handle situations. I do not have the answer to every single situation she faces, but I know who does. The best advice I can give to my daughter and to my son is to turn to God.

He has all the answers.

Just recently I had to tell this to my daughter. Oh, my precious, innocent daughter sitting across the table from me with a hurt heart. All I see is my little girl in pain and all I want to do is fix it. My mama feathers are ruffled. I know I cannot fix everything and she has to learn lessons on her own. But oh the relief I would have if I could just allow my tongue to run free. Before I speak I pray for wisdom. I need Him to help me with this because I want the answer to be from Him, not me.

From Him, not the flesh. Not the enemy.

My daughter took a step out of faith and wanted to open a piece of her heart to someone. She wanted to tell this person that even though her parents made a decision based on what God was calling them to do that this person was still important to her. She wanted to tell this person that she prayed they could still have a relationship even though they will not see each other as often.  My daughter had a bond with this person of almost three years. There was so much she wanted this person to know. Sadly, it did not go the way she hoped. The phone conversation left her upset and hurting. Now we know the effects this can have on a teenager.

As a mother I had a lot to say about this. Oh how quickly I was ready to attack. My cub was hurt and this mama bear was on the prowl. Then He reminded me of the scriptures in the Book of James. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”  Okay, Lord I hear You. Slow to anger. Slow to speak. Got it. My daughter says, “Mom, I just wanted to tell them my feelings.” Here is where I failed. I told her to send a text telling the person that she did not finish what she was saying and this was what she wanted to say.

Instantly I felt guilt.

Then I felt conviction.

Then God puts this scripture on my heart, “Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.”

I have my light bulb moment. Now I truly understand what He is telling me.
I told my daughter that sending the text is not wise. I ask her what James tells us about the tongue. She answers that we are to control our tongues because it can start fires. I tell her yes and all we can do is pray. Pray for God to help her with this situation. Pray for the other person. We have to remember that we do not know how this person feels. Talking with my daughter may cause pain. This person could be hurting just as much as my daughter and talking with her may be too much for them to handle. This person may be offended or hurt and all we can do is pray that God puts understanding in their heart. Praying is the only way to overcome the situation and the feelings both parties are experiencing.

Later on in the evening my daughter and I sat in her room and discussed this situation some more. Again I see my daughter upset, hurt, and on the verge of tears. I feel myself becoming that mama bear again. As quickly as those feelings arise they are squashed. I quote those two scriptures to myself. We continued our talk for a bit.

Then the best thing EVER occurred.

After about 20 minutes of talking with my daughter she walks in my room and I have seen that look before that she has on her face. It could go either way. Good or bad. She hands me her phone and says look at what God did. I read the passage on her phone. This Facebook status that I am reading was posted 16 hours from when I was reading it, but my daughter just saw it. God just allowed her to see this passage. She saw it after this situation occurred. The passage discusses how sometimes we are to close doors because He has something better in store for us. It also discussed how we need to let go of the old things so we can embrace the new that God has placed in our paths.

I was speechless.

Speechless! Do y’all know how huge that is for me to be speechless??!!

He sent her peace, confirmation, and the permission to let go. My daughter needed to hear this. She needed to hear that God has something in store for her. We do not know what or when this will occur but we do know that it gives my daughter peace.

The power of prayer works. Ask and we shall receive. Sometimes receiving does not occur immediately or at all. Receiving is in His time and His timing is always perfect.

The life of a teenager can be difficult but as long as we turn to Him we will crush the enemy

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