Just recently the hubs and I were confused on some things that a friend had told us. We were getting to the point of frustration and confusion. We knew if these feelings continued then animosity would begin to set in. I told hubs the only thing we can do is talk to this person. Of course, I nominated hubs on this because well the other person was a man and the hubs heard more from this gentleman than I did. We both prayed about it.
The next day the hubs had an opportunity to speak with this gentleman. My husband addressed some of the things we were frustrated and confused about. The gentleman was very receptive and understanding. Not once did these men argue. Not once did these men throw stones. Not once did these men have an uncontrollable tongue. Both of these men were very receptive to one another’s thoughts, opinions, and feelings.
When the hubs called me after talking with this gentleman I began to think, “Isn’t this how it should always be?” Shouldn’t we as people be able to approach one another and talk out our differences without hurting one another? Without throwing stones? Without an uncontrollable tongue? With love? Sincerity?
This conversation between my husband and this gentleman could have gone way different. For example, if my husband went to this person and started pointing his finger at him and using hurtful words, don’t you think the gentleman would have been offended? The gentleman would have been caught off guard, hurt, offended, and defensive. Hurtful words could have been exchanged. Relationships could have ended. But it didn’t. When we have an issue or need to talk with someone it makes a huge difference on how we approach the person.
I know many of us have been hurt by others and don’t we just want to give them a piece of our mind? We’ve all had days like that. How many of us have just poured out hurtful words without thinking or praying about it? I know I have. I have lost relationships with people because of this. In the end, I have regretted what I have said. Also, vice-versa. Just a couple of months ago I had a very close person to me send me a text message yelling at me. I was taken back. My feelings were hurt. I tried to call and talk to this person but all the person would do is hang up on me. The person does not want to talk. Our relationship has now diminished and all I can do is pray that one day it will be what it once was. It all goes back to the approach.
If we have an issue with someone we need to stop, think, pray, and then address the person. We cannot just hold it in because all that will do is brew into bitterness and anger. Pray asking God for the right words. Pray asking God to open the other person’s heart to your words. Pray that God gives you ears to hear when the other speaks. Pray that your heart will be open as well.
Does this mean the other person will always be receptive? Maybe not. However, if you have approached this person with love, not anger, respectful, and grace then in the end you have done what you could. The rest is up to Him.
I am so thankful that we gave this situation to God. I couldn’t fathom what would have come about if we did not. Our approach is so important when addressing others.
“Do everything in love.” 1 Corinthians 16:14