10 November 2014

I Will Rejoice In Him


The beginning of 2014 I set out goals I wanted to reach by the end of the year. One of the goals was to lose weight. I know pretty common among people. I set out to lose the weight I have gained over the years. I wish I could say the weight was from post-baby but it is not. I started gaining the weight when my youngest, my son, was five years old. At the time I had the mentality that I was young and my metabolism was in overdrive.

I was wrong.

I was naïve. I stopped working out and eating whatever I liked. At this time we were living in Alaska and I was not going to the gym in the middle of winter. I mean who wants to leave their warm home to go out in negative 40 degrees to work out? Not this lady. Nope. I again was naïve and felt that I would stay the same size.

Over the years I feel I have tried almost every possible diet and have come to the same result. Losing weight just to gain it all back and some. This year, 2014, I was determined to lose weight. I would lose the weight. I would not allow anything to stop me. Then life happened.

I found myself turning to food when I was frustrated, angry, hurt, sad, happy, and of course hungry. I was addicted to food. I was not reaching the goals I had set out for myself. I needed things to change. I needed to get more serious. I figured if I would break up my goal into smaller goals. Setting a date and then a certain amount of weight to lose. Simple. I wouldn’t be overwhelmed with the large number I set for myself earlier in the year.

I decided my 35th birthday would be a good date. Mid-November. I had visions of my husband taking me out and I would be down 20 pounds. I would wear a dress three sizes smaller. I would feel so good about myself. Then I injured myself. Again I turned to food. One step forward, three steps back. I felt like a failure. I was aggravated. I would get even more frustrated when people would say, “well it is just your feet do an upper body workout.” Trust me, if I could, I would. I could barely walk. More frustration.

During this time of self-pity and “woe is me”, God was revealing things to me. It is not the number on the scale or the size of my pants. It is not about how much I can bench press or how much I can curl. It is about Him. It is about my relationship with Him. It is about taking this weight loss to Him. Sometimes we may feel like we do not want to bother Him with such things but that IS what He wants. To depend on Him. To trust Him. To rely on Him. It is about our walk with Him. He doesn’t want just part of us. He wants all of us. He wants us to come to Him with all things. Not just the big things.

He wants all of us.

My birthday is less than two weeks away. I will not reach the goal I had set for my birthday and you know what? I am okay with this because I would take the journey I have had with Him rather than the number on the scale or the size of my pants. My walk with Him has gone down a path that I could not even imagine. Will I reach my main goal of losing 30 pounds by the end of the year? Nope. This journey is long. It will take longer than a year. It is a marathon not a sprint. I will rejoice in the weight I have lost. I will rejoice about the journey He has taken me on. I will rejoice in Him.

841. More time with Him

842. The closeness with my husband and my two blessings

843. Our new edition to our family

844. Grace and mercy

845. This weight loss journey I am on

846. Candles burning and fireplace on during the early morning hours

847. Miracles God has done lately

848. A clean and organized basement

849. My son wanting to read

850. Days of rest

 This post is linked with What Joy is Mine

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