The summer of 2012 my husband broke the news to me. “Babe, I think it is time to retire and I will retire next year.” I never thought I would ever hear those words. I remember when we were newly married and the hubby had only six years under his belt. Now he will be retiring? Where did the years go and do you really have to retire? Leading up to his actual retirement fear was setting in. I was fearful for most of that year. The enemy was attacking me.
I worried so much during that year. Worried about hubby finding a job. Worried about our medical and dental insurance. Worried about not having enough money. Nothing but worries. I recall nights of not being able to sleep because I was fearful of the future. I was in constant prayer asking God to help me overcome these fears and to strengthen me during this fearful time. God would embrace me and encourage me. He would send an encouraging friend, a card, scripture, a song, or sermon my way, to remind me I was not alone.
My husband knew it was time to retire because he prayed a lot about it. He knew God wanted him to start a new season in his life. I battled a lot with God. Praying that the hubby would change his mind. I laugh about it now because if God was telling my husband to retire how could I change my husband’s mind let alone God’s. The more the year went on the more I struggled. I realize now that I was questioning God even though I knew God wanted us to begin a new season I was not sure if this was the right decision. How could we walk away from the only life we knew? A military life. Seriously, there is life after the military? I was beyond scared.
The first couple months of retired life was very difficult. We were starting to get behind on our bills, hubby was working a job that really put a strain on his already beaten body, and I kept thinking to myself, “I knew this was the wrong decision for us.” The more stressed I became the more I prayed. What else could I do? God is the pilot and I am just the co-pilot. All I could do was let go of the steering wheel and let Him take full control.
So I did.
Four months into retirement and how my feelings have changed. I love retired life. I love having hubby home. I love that we do not have to worry about moving and wondering when he will have to deploy. I love that we are somewhere permanently. I love how the kids are enjoying it here and do not want to move. I love that my blessings will finally have an answer when they are asked where they are from.
I questioned the decision to retire. I realize I was questioning Him. In the end, God was right, again. He had plans for us. He knew what was right for us. He knew it would all work out. He knew we would get caught up on our bills and begin to see financial freedom. Of course He knew all this because He had plans for us. I am thankful that my husband obeyed what God told him to do even though his wife was convincing him not too.
Sometimes I believe that God is saying, “Oh just you wait daughter, you haven’t seen nothing yet.” I serve an amazing God!
I have gone from being fearful of retired life to loving retired life. If I feel this way I couldn’t even imagine how my husband is feeling about retired life.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ” Philippians 4:6-7