I started out rough with many jagged edges.
Hurting people with these sharp points.
Cuts so deep that scars had formed.
Relationships so severed that hope was gone from ever healing. If anyone came to close the jagged edges would keep them away. I did not want anyone close to me because I did not want to hurt so instead I would hurt them with my jagged edges. I could not love myself so I could not possibly love anyone. I definitely did not deserve anyone's love.
I felt like I was in a raging river being tossed around. My emotions going from one wave to another. I could not stop; the river would not slow down. I needed to stop, I needed to breath. My edges, my safety net was starting to go away. My defense against people, against life was leaving me. I fought. I fought so hard. I was not giving up.
God had other plans.
As I am being tossed around the waves, each jagged edge started to smooth. Wave after wave, jagged edge after jagged edge. My life, my jagged life, became smooth, washed away by each wave that created me to be who I am today. A new being.
As I sit on the shore watching other jagged edges being smoothed. I pray that they will stop fighting and allow the waves to work out the jagged edges. As I watch I wait.
I wait to see the newly smooth being.
Created from a rock of jagged edges.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18