The Battle You Can No Longer Fight

Feeling alone in a world of chaos can exist. There are many people walking this earth surrounded by crowds of people but yet they feel so alone. They put on this façade that all is well when in reality they are struggling. Struggling to keep up. Struggling to find a connection. A connection to what? They are unsure. They just know they are feeling alone.

Loneliness is hard. Especially when you are surrounded by people daily. You feel as if no one hears you or if they do, you feel it falls on deaf ears. You continue to find a place. A place of contentment. A place of happiness. A place of understanding. But most importantly a place of joy.

You feel as if you are in the middle of a crowded room, and you are screaming, jumping, waving your arms around, trying to get someone’s attention, but no one looks at you. You fall to your knees. Broken. Beat up. Giving up. What is the purpose of trying? Why move past this feeling of loneliness when it is obvious you are alone?

You stagger through the days. You wish people could see the attacks the enemy is making within you. You wish the beat up inside of you could be worn on the outside. To show the world the battle you are enduring.

The battle you can no longer fight.

All you can do in this moment is give up.

You give up trying to do this on your own. The battle wounds are too much.  One more attack from the enemy could be the final blow. You cry out, “Why? Why have you left me?” But yet you know in your heart, in your Spirit, that He has not left you. He has not forsaken you. You truly believe this because you believe His word. His promises. 

But you can’t help but feel as if He did leave you.

Then the whisper of a Father to his daughter, “I did not leave you. I have been here with you. Crying with you. Holding you. Protecting you from the attacks you did not receive because I took them for you. You are not alone. I am here. I have always been here.”

Eyes closed. Head bowed. On your knees. Tears rolling down your face. You begin to truly feel peace. Peace only given to you by Him. The Creator of all. The Alpha and Omega. The Beginning and End. The Great I Am has covered you with His peace. His presence is surrounding you. You begin to realize the loneliness you experienced was not because He left you.

You realize you left Him.