18 February 2013

Going Through the Trenches

I arrived home a week ago from spending a few days with a dear friend of mine whom just lost her sister. My heart was still heavy from everything I had seen with my friend and her family, but God was telling me that we had another storm approaching.
I sent a text to my husband that we are going to face another storm and we need to prepare for it. We did not know what kind of storm or how to prepare. All we knew was to prepare.  We never thought this storm would occur so soon after arriving home.

The hubby and I were attending a marriage class on Saturday at our church, when we received a phone call.

A dreaded phone call.

A phone call that showed us the storm has approached.

Our nephew. Our precious nephew. Our nephew whom was just living with us three months ago has passed.

Oh how young he was. A father.

A father to a three year old daughter.

A father to a four year old son.

A husband.

Oh Lord! Why? Why him? Why another death we are faced with? Please stop!

The anger stirs within me. First time I am facing anger. Angry at my nephew for leaving. Angry with his wife. Angry at myself for being angry. Oh Lord I do not want to be angry. Please Lord take the anger.

Lord, am I really angry? What are these emotions that I am feeling?

Hubby leaves to be with his family during this difficult time. The two blessings and I stay home. We cannot handle anymore funerals. No more death.

A dear sister in Christ sends a message and within this message she mentions what a trench we are going through.

Yes, a trench.

That is what we are going through.

Standing in this trench looking up at the top wondering how we are going to get out of this trench. Each time we try to attempt to make it to the top, we are being pulled back down. We are losing our grip, our strength is dwindling. The trench is starting to turn into a mountain. A large mountain that seems to continue to grow larger.

We are on our knees reaching for the top when we see a hand. His hand. Reaching for us. Reaching to help us to the top. We just have to grab His hand and not let go.

Yes, we are in a trench, but we are holding His hand and He is pulling us up. He will not let go. The only way we will fall is if we let go.

We will praise Him in this storm and we will continue to praise Him. We are fighting this battle on our knees. The enemy continues to throw punches. Some of those punches are when we are still down, but we choose to get back up. The enemy will not keep us down.

We are not defeated.

We will get out of this trench and will reach the top of the mountain. We will not give up.

We will not allow the enemy to have a foothold on us.

"In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." Ephesians 4:26-27

501. The ability to lift my hands to Him and praise Him

502. Finding out about our nephew at church

503. Our church family praying for us at that moment

504. My husband leaving as soon as we found out

505. Passing my statistics class

506. God helping me take my anger away

507. My schoolbooks arriving on time

508. Receiving encouraging text messages and emails from friends and family

509. My daughter waking me at 2am because she needed to talk

510. Talking to my daughter until 4am about God and our situation

We will continue to climb and not let go....

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