"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" Matthew 11:28-30
As we can all see I have not been posting lately. It is not that I do not want to but my heart's desire has changed. I truly felt that God was telling me to take a little break from blogging and to focus on Him. Well, I did take a break, however, my focus did not turn to Him as it should have.
I like to think that my faith in God is strong and truly, truly love Him. He has done so much for me throughout my life and I try to thank Him for everything He has done and will do. But then I ask myself "Do I truly mean it?" Do I truly love Him like I say I do? The answer is yes. I truly love Him BUT I do not show Him the love I should. I do not do the daily reading as I should and I do put things before Him. Well, He has shown me what I NEED to do to focus on Him.
A month and a half ago my husband left to defend our freedom. I pray to God everyday for his safety and that God's armor is surrounding my husband and his fellow soldiers. This is our first deployment in over ten years. Yes, God has blessed us for the last ten years to have my husband home. My husband has volunteered many times to deploy but it was not in God's timing, until now. Unfortunately, our brigade experienced their first fallen soldiers. Three fallen soldiers. I will never forget where I was when I heard the news. So, when I received the news that three soldiers had fallen, my heart broke into a million pieces. Oh, did I mention that my guests were arriving at that very moment to my house for a dinner party? I did not mention the news to the fellow wives whose husbands are also serving with my husband. During the meal another wife received the news. A prayer was said for those soldiers, their families, and the soldiers that were serving by their side. I can say that our meals were then left untouched. My heart broke. After everyone left that evening, I sat down to take everything in, I cried out to Him. I put my focus on Him. I prayed for those families and for the soldiers. I prayed to God asking to help those who were crying to Him, and for those who suffered the loss to feel His arms around them. No, I do not know the soldiers who sacrificed their life for me, but I am mourning for them. As we all should.
God was also working in my heart for other reasons. Some of those reasons were with family back home. I felt things needed to be mended and wounds to be healed. I have three sisters and two brothers and I miss them very much. At one moment in time I felt that we were not close as we could be. That time has changed. I am excited to go home this summer and spend some much needed time with family.
God has shown me that I need to pay more attention at home and not worry about the functions going on outside my house. With my husband gone I felt that I needed to always be doing something, which then caused my home to be put at the bottom of the list, including my two blessings. Of course God has shown me this through the Proverbs 31 bible study that I am leading at church. Who does not realize what they are lacking when reading Proverbs 31? I just LOVE the Proverbs 31 woman!
Finally, God had shown me the one thing that I fought with for over a year. Facebook. Yes, Facebook. I had to let it go. Trust me I fought and dragged my heels so far in the dirt because I was not giving up my Facebook. A full year God spoke to me on this subject. When I logged into my account He was there telling me "No Come to Me." "I want you to focus on Me." "I will give you what you need." Each time I would try to shake it off and continue to check my Facebook. Ignoring Him. (I will post more on this later.)
So during my little sabbatical from blogging I learned a lot. My focus on life has changed and I am working more on my relationship with my Savior, the One who gave it all for me.
"We know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands" 1 John 2:3