Lately, I have felt an inner battle going on within me. For awhile I felt that it had to do with an upcoming event that was occurring, but God has revealed to me what was really going on. As a Christian we are called to love one another no matter how difficult that can be. That is exactly what I am dealing with. I recently had to be in a place with a person that is very difficult to like let alone love. I can go on and on about the sin this person has committed and the planks in their eye, but what does that say about me? I am no better. I sin everyday. I am difficult to love at times. I have my temper tantrums and I whine. I cannot tell you how many times I whine to God when He wants me to do something that I do not want to do. I have many planks in my eye so I cannot find the planks in others.
As I am in this situation and having to deal with this person I avoided every situation I could to keep from speaking with them. I had nothing nice to say so I felt it was better to say nothing. Isn't that what we were taught. If you have nothing nice to say then do not say anything at all? So I didn't. Instead I avoided this person and had a cold heart towards them. At the time I thought I was doing the right thing even if I was being rude without really saying a word.
I did not realize what God was telling me. I realized it last night while speaking with my husband. How many times has God forgiven me for my sins? How many times has God said He loved me when I was being difficult? How many times has He continued to bless me after I have whined to Him? How many times has He offered His grace to me? I continue to take everything He blesses me with and when He needs me to be obedient I throw a temper tantrum. That is exactly what I did. I did not want to be nice to the person. I did not want to talk to the person. I did not even want to be in the same room as this person. The last thing I wanted to do was love this person.
As I sit here convicted for my actions and my words, I pray asking God to show me what I am suppose to do. I have asked for His forgiveness but I am now to ask this person as well. I am to humble myself. This person does not know my feelings toward them although they may have a good idea, I am to ask forgiveness. I am to love them.
My blog is based on Mark 12:30-31 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this "Love your neighbor as yourself." The last thing I am doing is loving my neighbor. I am not doing what God asks of me. No matter how hard it is going to be I am going to show this person love. I am going to offer my hand and ask if they need help. I am going to ask God for His strength when it comes time to deal with this person, but I will show them love.
I am to be the light. I am to show them God's love towards them. I am to defend them when others gossip about this person. I am to tell others they too have planks in their own eyes when they talk about the planks in the person's eye. To be honest, it will be hard. I will have moments where I am to bite my tongue and say nothing when this person says things. I will be in constant prayer when I am dealing with this person. However, I believe that eventually my cold heart towards them will begin to warm. I may actually begin to really like this person and I will truly begin to love them.
How about you? Are you loving those who are tough to love? Are you focused on others planks than your own?