This part is dealing with me and more of my emotions. So please bare with me ;)
Let's see where did I leave off at...ummmm....
Oh yes, I was thinking "am I really considering this?" While walking back to my car I couldn't believe I was seriously thinking about homeschooling. I knew I had two obstacles to overcome; my daughter and my hubby.
I picked my daughter up from school and I asked her what she thought about being homeschooled. Of course she is only six at the time, and wasn't sure exactly what homeschooling was. I went on to explain to her what it entailed, and I couldn't finish because it was an automatic "NO" and I mean "NO". Kaitlyn really loved the idea of going to school on her on, and the "independence" she had by going to school. After that conversation with my daughter I made up my mind, I am not homeschooling. I didn't even bother talking to the hubby because if my daughter was not for it then I was not going to make a decision knowing she wasn't happy.
My daughter attended this certain school for Kindergarten and first grade. We had some issues with that one boy in kindergarten but first grade was worse. See my daughter wears her heart on her sleeve, and she believes in Jesus and the Bible. She had a hard time understanding why some of the other children were so mean, or why they would act up when the teacher was trying to teach. There were many days where she would come home crying because her so called "best friend" was just so mean to her. This little girl lived around the corner from us, and when we would see her she would say "hi Kaitlyn, do you want to play" and all that stuff. They then would play and have a good time, and then back at school the next day the girl that was her "friend" would tease my daughter. She would say "you have ugly hair", "your ugly", "I am not your friend." You know the typical little girl stuff. However, I was not okay with it. I told my daughter how to deal with this little girl, we prayed for the little girl but after half of a school year of this stuff I was done. I would not allow my daughter to be subjected to this type of harsh words or environment. This little girl's mom and I were acquaintances and I had decided to talk with the mom. The mom agreed that she had noticed that the girls were bickering a little bit more, and didn't know why. I went on to explain what I was told, and the mom just said okay, and left it at that. I am not sure if I crossed the line, in her eyes, but I was not going to let my daughter be "friends" with someone who was rude to her. This had lasted most of the school year, and I had decided that my husband and I were going to figure something out for next year.
While this was all going on we had just started attending a new church, and had decided to make this church our new home. This certain church had a private school, and started taking enrollments. I talked to my hubby about maybe putting Kaitlyn in this school for next year. We prayed about it, and really weighed the pros and cons. Some of the pros were Kaitlyn would be attending a Christian school, being with others who had the same values instilled in them (we hoped), and Jesus would be apart of her schooling. The cons were that the school was 30mins one way from our house. My hubby was working a second job at the time and I was doing daycare, so we sat down and ran the numbers. We prayed to God to open the door for us if this is where Kaitlyn was suppose to be. We went and toured the school, and talked with the assistant principal about what they do there at the school. But please listen how God really worked this tour. We were about to head to the second grade to see how things are run when a mother showed up to see the Kindergarten. The asst. principal said "why don't I just show you from pre-K on to second." We agreed that would be fine, and that is where it occurred to us that maybe we should put our son in pre-K here. Originally we were just going to have Kolton attend the public school on post because it was only for a couple hours a day. Well, after hearing about the great things they offered for pre-K and second grade, we thought maybe both of them would attend.
After the tour, we went home and really, really, really, prayed about this. We re-ran the numbers again to see if we could afford both of the children to attend this private school. We decided that the hubby would pick up a couple more shifts, and I would keep my daycare full, that it could work. It was really important to us to get Kaitlyn out of the public school, and to have our Christian values taught within her subjects. God opened the doors for our two blessings to attend private school. Then it hit me.....BOTH OF MY BABIES WERE GOING TO SCHOOL....ALL DAY!!!!
***my blessings on their first day of school***
I was going to be all by myself during the day(in July I decided that I needed to be done with daycare)....sounds good right??? It wasn't for me. Trust me when I tell you the first couple months were good. I would drop them off and head to the gym, then go home and clean the house, run errands, and do what I needed to do, so when I picked them up from school all my attention was on them. Then after a couple of months, I got really lonely, and I mean lonely. I had friends that I would hang out with it but I felt like something was missing. During this time God was really working in me, to change me. At the time I didn't understand what was going on, and I couldn't understand the feelings I was having. In regards, to me really missing my babies, the relationship with my hubby, my friends, and my walk with God. Finally, thats when I broke.
To be continued....
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